The dictionary defines patience as 1. the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
Admittedly, patience and I have not always seen eye to eye. In fact, in the past, I have ran full speed in the opposite direction. I’ve been blind to it’s purpose, frustrated when I’ve been asked to sit with it, and seen it as a roadblock to accomplishing all that I want in this one short lifetime. At least, that was my former relationship with patience.
As I am continuously being shown the need for patience, I have redefined my relationship with it. Befriending and being with it, I’ve learned things don’t always come when you want them. And there always seems to be a reason.
Fourteen years ago, I moved into a small bungalow with my partner. He had knocked down one of the small bedrooms and created an additional space that became the dining room. We dreamed of making it into a “serenity room” enclosing it with shoji doors (traditional Japanese sliding screen doors). Fast forward ten years, I did create this serenity room in another home-that eventually become my meditation space. And again I dreamed of having shoji doors to enclose the room. However, for various reasons, this did not happen in either of these homes.
Since then, many other things have tested my patience. I sat on my business name for over three years, not knowing how it would evolve and if it would ever be born. Motherhood with its varied challenges and my marriage, with all its twists and turns, have demanded much patience of me. I even find taking my professional shamanism training I am needing patience. I want the teachings, the knowing, and the healing all right now. But alas, I am learning no where in the definition of patience do I find the words: immediate gratification.
Seven months ago I moved into a home just around the corner from the Aspen forest. It has an addition with a vaulted ceiling off the kitchen. The idea was to create a small studio space where I could teach and do my work. With extensive renovations required, including a way to separate the space from the rest of the house, a specific budget, and some unforeseen life challenges, I was asked yet again to be with patience.
What I did not foresee, though, was as I was envisioning my new business, nearly two years ago, I would meet a dear friend who happens to be a creative soul and an extremely talented artist. One conversation we would have would set on course what was dreamed fourteen years ago.
Last summer, at the same time I was purchasing my new home, my friend decided to start a woodworking business. We were out for a drink when he happened to mention a project he would love the opportunity to work on. Although I knew it would be a big undertaking-he had never done anything of such magnitude, in fact, he did not have any woodworking experience at all, as I listened to him share his dream of one day designing and creating traditional Japanese shoji doors, a smile spread through my being and I felt the magic of it all. It was as though I was on a fourteen year long picnic with patience, when I heard a whisper say “thank you for being with me” and I turned to my friend and stated “well, do I have just the project for you.”
As one of my greatest teachers once said "patience is not sitting and waiting, it is foreseeing. It is looking at the thorn and seeing the rose, looking at the night and seeing the day. Lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full." And so I gracefully fold into patience and all her teachings.